I'm sorry I haven't been very good at my blog lately, and I want you to know that I'm very sorry. But:
And being an adult means working...like seemingly all the time. And cleaning stuff. And then on top of that, I accidentally requested ten books be put on hold for me at the library (whoops), so I had to read those. And then I was just too tired to write a new blog post. And also probably why I have neglected my relationships with anyone who doesn't currently have four legs and/or a tail or those that live with me.
It's been mostly the usual - people who can't understand (even when I explain it a MILLION TIMES), and the usual rude people who treat me like dirt. But today was fun...which is why I'm writing this blog post about today.
Let me set the scene:
Wednesday. Court day. Craziness in the air. I look over the list of people coming in for Pre-Trials. My eyes trail down the page, stopping suddenly. Whose name is that? An attorney coming in for his DUIs (yes, plural)? SWEET. I'm excited. I'm like:
After court starts, I realize the attorney (who for confidentiality purposes, will be named Drunkard Drunkardson) has not checked in. "Has anyone seen Drunkard Drunkardson? Or Drunkard's attorney?"
"No, Drunkard Dunkardson was arrested for ANOTHER DUI while on his way to court."
Yes. Yes, he was. And so he was in jail and couldn't come to court. So he is coming in to court on Monday, BEFORE I come in to work, so I can't watch his court date.
It makes me sad and angry.
FOILED AGAIN!!!
So I missed out on seeing Drunkard Drunkardson arrested. But I did get to see two other arrests today (IT'S LIKE CHRISTMAS!!!).
The woman from my first arrest came back!! She came in, in a SUPER PLEASANT mood. I'm like:
And she went into the courtroom. I went back to watch, and kept getting interrupted, so I didn't actually get to see the ARREST, but I got to hear most of her plea to not have to go to jail. She finally got sentenced to six days in jail, with more jail days optional if she doesn't pay her fine.
When I heard the bell ring, I went up to the front. A man was standing there and asked about his friend's fine. I told him they had both gone to warrants, so he'd have to see the Judge. He asked what the charges were, and I told him that I couldn't discuss the charges with him, just his friend. So he leaves, and his friend comes in. I pull up his cases to see what the charges are, and there is a warning that says: "TO BE ARRESTED IMMEDIATELY."
This is perfect!! So I give him a big smile:
And I say, "I just have to grab this file. I'll be right back."
And I head into the courtroom, and beckon to AJ (the Baliff). "AJ. There's a guy here, and it says he's supposed to be arrested immediately. Do you want him?" AJ asked who it was, and I told him, and his eyes light up. And he says, "Yeah, unless you want to arrest him." I told him that as soon as I got handcuffs, a taser, and a gun, I would totally be down for that. But they don't give me those things, probably because I'd just walk up to people and say:
And they're probably not ready for the power-hungry person I'd become.
Yes, that is an accurate representation of how I would act.
So I come back out front, just as AJ is arresting the man.
After AJ got back from taking the woman from my first arrest to the jail, he came in and said, "Just so you know, she hates you."
I look at him, and go:
AJ proceeds to tell me that she was quiet, until they hit 17th Street, at which point she started yelling:
"STOP LOOKING AT ME!! YOU F****ING B******!!! I HATE YOU!!! I HATE THE JUDGE!!! I HATE ALL THE COURT CLERKS!!! STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!"
Ahh...feel the love of court.
I love my job. I answer phones:
I get to see people arrested:
And I really love it.
So there's your blog post, dear friends. SO QUIT YER WHINING!
And until the next blog post, I've created a nice agenda for us:
