I can't believe it's already almost the end of October, especially since the last blog post was from September.
I guess someone forgot to:
Or at least reminded me to blog more often.
So what has happened in the past month? Well, I had a birthday (and I took notes of those of you who didn't wish me a happy birthday, so...)
I read some books.
And I went to Denver, where we went to see the Molly Brown house (I didn't see any ghosts), the Aquarium, and Mesa Verde National Park. It was great to spend some time with my family and actually get to do something this summer!
And I worked. And I know that's the real reason you guys read this blog, so here are some stories:
This lady came in to court a while ago, and wanted to go in and see the Judge. But she was dressed in a really skimpy outfit, so the Baliff told he she needed to come back in more appropriate clothes. She came up to the window and asked if we had spare clothes that she could change into. I told her we didn't, and she kept bugging me about giving her MY sweatshirt Finally, I'm to the point where I just want to yell:
"LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" So then she turns her attention to complaining about how was she supposed to know that she needed to actually wear clothes to her court date. So I'm like:
She eventually left to go get some clothes, and came back appropriate dressed. And which point she started complaining about how she had no idea she was supposed to sign in at the window...even though she walked past all the signs saying "SIGN IN AT THE FRONT WINDOW" FIVE TIMES.
Ah, people. Will they never learn to read?
The last week or so, I had my duties changed. So they took my warnings away.
And that made me really sad. But they gave me Orders, Plea in Abeyances, Probation, Treatment, and the Court Calendars.
It's an awfully lot, and I don't know how to do everything, but hopefully I'll get the hang of everything.
I did a ton of Orders to Show Cause today, where they have to appear before the Judge and tell him why they failed to make their payment on time, and adds $75 to their fine. People call, and say they want to make a payment. I tell them that it's already gone to an Order, so they'll need to appear before the Judge. And they go, "WHAT? But I'm going to make a payment right now."
And I think:
"A fee of $75 has already been added to your fine, and notice has been mailed to you. You can either come to your court date, or you can come to one of our open court dates." And they're like, "Well, what if I make a payment right now?"
And I'm like:
"No, unfortunately, your payment was due on the 15th of the month, so you were late with the payment, and the fee has already been assessed."
At which point they get really angry and ask "Don't you care!?"
And I just kind of feel like:
Finally, here is the story of that inspired tonight's blog post title. We have a sovereign citizen at work who is FLIPPING INSANE. For our purposes, he'll be called "Insane Psycho McCrazytown." He refuses to be called "Mr. McCrazytown" or even "Insane McCrazytown." He insists on being called "Insane Psycho of the Clan McCrazytown. Because he believes that his full legal name is given to him by the government, and the government has no control over him. I had been warned about him, but was told he is in Ohio, so the chances of me running in to him are slim to none. One day at work, I get a phone call. A gentleman was asking about getting the audio recordings from his court date. So I ask for his name, so I can pull up his cases.
"Oh, it's Insane McCrazytown. You'll probably remember my cases,"
OH SNAP, IT'S INSANE MCCRAZYTOWN.
INSANE MCCRAZYTOWN.
INSANE MCCRAZYTOWN.
Now that we've adequately established how important it was that he was calling me, we can continue on with the story.
So he has me send him the paperwork to fill out to get the audio recordings, and tell him it's $11 per audio recording.
And I start getting all of these e-mails from him. And I'm like:
Talking about how he wants to sue the City because last time he came to court, he kept trying to speak on behalf of another Defendant. And the Judge told him he couldn't, so the Baliffs picked him up by his arms and carried him out of the courtroom, while he was screaming "I'M BEING KIDNAPPED!!! YOU'RE ALL MY WITNESSES!!" And then he apparently went across the street to the 7-11, where he called the police to report his kidnapping...by the police.
And he starts his e-mails with "To Shelby Irvin, the real, not artificial person." And I'm told to just not reply to him until he asks a real question or fills out the paperwork and returns it with the fee. And then he becomes even more insane, asking me if I've ever been raped and telling me all of his weird twisted thoughts, and how he believes in things like the Illuminati, and how he's a Muslim, and he keeps referring to the Prosecutor as A5922, because he doesn't like him, so he won't refer to him by name. And asking me to send him copies of his cases, (The average Pleading is no more than 15 pages - every Pleading he has filed is over 142 pages) and the audio recordings ON MY DIME.
And he keeps sending these e-mails, and I keep ignoring them. And he starts e-mailing me asking me why I won't return his e-mails, and if I'm getting them or not, and I just think:
The Baliff suggested I just start sending him cat videos every time he e-mailed me, but then I was afraid that he would be like, "YES!!! THE CAT IS THE PERFECT SYMBOL OF THE ILLUMINATI!!! YOU GET IT!!!"
Eventually, he was like, "I hope you all die a slow death....so how's your day going?" And he might as well just have said:
At which point I could just be like:
The police were going to file more charges against him for harassing an officer of the court, but then they decided to just give his files over to the FBI, so it's their problem now.
He finally seemed to figure out that I was ignoring him, because I haven't gotten an e-mail from him in a couple of weeks. Part of me is relieved, because I hope it means he's lost interest and will fall off the face of the Earth for another few years, but then another part of me wishes he was still sending e-mails because they made for hilarious stories.
So now I've caught you up to what I've been up to for the past month. I will try to do better. And in closing, I'd just like to remind you:
