Court Day...The Day I'm Reminded That People Are Ultimately Terrible.

I know it's been a long time, dear readers.  But maybe it's because I like to see you waiting with

because I'm cruel.  Who knows.  But the important thing is:

Which is why you're here reading my blog again.

Today was court day, which is always the best day of my week.  It's when the crazies come to court, and I get to see every one of them.  And although every court day is different, they all have one thing in common:

And I love it!!!

Yesterday, a gentleman called me, and started yelling at me about how he couldn't make his payment on time.  I pulled his file and told him that if he did not appear in court the next day, he would have a warrant out for his arrest.  He started yelling about how he "didn't even have the money to pay for a postage stamp or bus fare, and he just barely got a new job, and he wasn't losing this job that paid $102,405,099,000 a year (okay, maybe it was slightly less than that, but from the way he was acting, it sounded like it was that kind of job) for some POS warrant."

I told him he should probably avoid saying things like that in front of the judge, because if he thinks a $400 ticket is expensive, he should try to pay off a $500 contempt fee.  After which he said, "Excuse my French."

So he showed up today (somehow he managed to scrape up the money for bus fare), and he tried to get me to just give him an extension, because he didn't want to have to wait for the Judge to call his case.  I was like:

BUT...you still have to wait.  To which he responded:

You and everyone else, buddy.

AND THE LADY FROM MY FIRST ARREST CAME BACK FOR HER NEW CASE!!!!  I saw her walking down the hallway toward the windows to check in, and I'm screaming internally, because SHE'S BACK!!!!  And I'm like:

You make my day interesting.  And she comes to sign in, like:

Yes. I've missed you so much it hurts.

BUT:

And then one of the court clerks suggested she take care of the new charges when she comes in for her trial in her other case in a few weeks.  And I'm so disappointed, I'm like:

Don't raise my hopes like that, and then dash them against the rocks of my trials!  Don't turn my soul from an ebony blackness from being twisted to the midnight black of unfulfilled and damaged dreams!!

Maybe next time I'll get to see her arrested again.

Then this guy came out of the court room with his wife, and she demanded to know why his fine was higher than it was the last time she paid it.  And while his wife is yelling at me, the husband is just standing there, like he's just terrified by her.  

So I try to explain that there was $150 added to his fine, because he was issued an Order to Show Cause as to why he didn't make his payment (which added $75), and then because he missed it, a warrant was issued for his arrest (which added another $75).  And she went, "YEAH.  And then I made TWO payments of $50, so why isn't it lower?!  It should be LOWER."

She couldn't get it, even when I did the math that after adding $150, taking $100 would STILL leave another $50 over from the last time she paid the fine.  

To which she responded: "CHECK YOUR MATH.  IT SHOULD BE LOWER."

And I'm like:

Math genius, you are not.  So she finally stormed out after deciding she wasn't going to get anywhere with me.

There was this man who came in today, and I could tell he was struggling with his English (and the girl who speaks Spanish upstairs wasn't in the office today).  So I was trying to get him to understand that he had a warrant out for his arrest.  When I finally got him to understand that he had a warrant, he asked me how much.  I wrote down $525, so he would be able to understand.  And he says, "I can pay that."  And pulls out a five dollar bill and a quarter.  So I tell him, "No, five HUNDRED and twenty-five DOLLARS."

And then I explain that he would need to see the Judge to set a payment plan and get the warrant removed.  But every time I try to tell him something in English, he breaks eye contact with me, and his eyes settle...ON MY BOOBS.  EVERY TIME.  And I'm just like:

They don't speak Spanish either.  It's uncomfortable.  But I finally got him to go in to see the Judge.

This guy came in for his Pre-Trial, and he decides he wants to talk...about EVERYTHING.  So I finally get him to fill out the paperwork, and he's like asking me about what I think the Judge will say, if I have a pamphlet about the court proceedings, if I know where the Judge and Prosecutor went to school.  And I have all the phones ringing in the background, and I'm like:

Court Days...the day that makes me think:

But I secretly love them.